ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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