i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
