Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
