are you still at the devil's house?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
