So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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