So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
