Just cropdusted the office
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
