Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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