Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
