They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
