i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
