went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
