The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
