then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is my life. Enjoy the view
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
