Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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