And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
