I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
