Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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