I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
