She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
