we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
