She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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