At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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