For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
