I could make wine with my vomit
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
