So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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