he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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