Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
