I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
