Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
