You can't motorboat a personality
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
