legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
