they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
