apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So here I am, sexting at work.
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