He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Randomize
