Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it hurts more in the daytime
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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