I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
