Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
NoShamevember. You game?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
