Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
