It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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