You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
