I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
