her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
