I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
