Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
