A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
