Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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