I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm determined to sit on that face.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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