I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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