I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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