Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i think my mom watched the whole time
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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