This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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