You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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